EWOK VILLAGE
The 101st Duel in league history went down last night, high up in the trees on the forest moon of Endor. No actual Ewoks were harmed in the construction of the board, nor the destruction that took place upon it. We can't wait to play with this one face to face - it's gorgeous!!!
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| What a bunch of tree huggers... |
Things were tense right out of the gate as there were literally only a couple of open squares on the board. Curtis' Darth Maul got the party started when he slaughtered Riley's Cara Dune on the big bridge. Fiona's Jar Jar Binks responded by chucking an Oopsa Bombad (we are such nerds) into enemy territory. There was a lot of shooting across the open terrain, and folks were pulling tricks out of their bags like Rob's Luke playing I Will Not Fight You on John's Jango Fett to devastating effect, Ryan's Yoda Insighting foks, and Kaleb's Lando using Hello What Have We Here?.
Fiona's Qui-Gon was boot-scootin' boogeying up the bridge, unafraid of the dark side. In a Dueling first, Fiona played from the Brooks Beauty Salon. She was banged up when Ian's Kylo played Force Choke and sent her to the country line dance in the sky in last place.
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| Ugly pipe cleaners helped us see the diagonals online. |
Even though the light side was down one player, it was obvious the dark side was hurting. Jango was in rough shape, Duncan's Vader was getting pot-shotted (not a word), and Riley's Mandalorian smoked Jessica's Emperor with a Disintegration. Curtis' Darth Maul was defending the bridge and feeling anxious. Ian was still stuck in the back corner of the board and getting cranky. Mom and Dad started fighting and a rift was born. Kevin, Rob's buddy from the Dueling league at the University of Tennessee, seized the day when he used a Force Control to set up kill boxes for John's Jango and Duncan's Vader with the help of...Curtis' Maul and Grant's Supreme Leader Snoke! The infighting led to a defection and the dark side crumbled. Maul knocked out John in eleventh and Riley's Mando bumped Duncan off in tenth.
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| Duncan wins best screen background ever. |
Things weren't looking good for Ian's Kylo Ren and Jessica's Emperor. The new alliance formed a plan to use Yoda to Force Push Kylo into a kill box. Jessica had the chance to block the bridge, but she hoped for a reward by allowing Ryan to pass. Sure enough, he Force Lifted and Pushed Kylo into danger. Ian was blood thirsty to lay hits on Curtis' Maul or Kaleb's Lando, but the alliance stayed strong and Maul ended his night. Jessica wasn't long for the game after that as Ryan Force Pushed her too. Rob used Justice to send her packing, but not before she got in a hilarious dig about what an overkill it was.
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| "I can still hear you saying You would never break the chain!" |
There were eight Duelers left at this point, and Riley's Mandalorian was active allover the board, but a departing You Will Die from Jessica's Emperor left her really short-carded. She had retreated to the corner, but Curtis' Maul decided her services were no longer needed and she was done in seventh.
From there it was unclear how things would proceed, so Ryan threw out Kevin's Obi-Wan as a potential target but the rest of the group wasn't feeling it. Rob used the faux pas to turn it on Ryan. His Yoda retreated to the far corner where Kylo had been hanging, but Grant's Snoke finally got Tied To A String and yanked him into a kill box. They got him to spend some of the big defense cards, but everyone knows how tough Yoda is. He hit Rob's Luke and then Force Pushed him into Curtis' lap. Darth Maul couldn't resist, and despite the desperate pleas from Rob, he died in sixth place.
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| Your final five. Not Rob. He died. |
Ryan offered all sorts of promises of loyalty to everyone on the board, but he knew he was done in fifth. Kevin's Obi used Jedi Attack to make it so. With just four to go, he all of a sudden couldn't find a partner to dance with. He reflected upon his Alanis Morissette-tinged view of irony. He had saved Maul and Snoke's life earlier in the game, but now he would be put to death by them. This took a really long time, though, because Obi-Wan Kenobi is AWESOME and this certainly wasn't Kevin's first rodeo. The St. Louis Kid made them spend a ton of cards on him, but he finally cashed out in fourth, disappointed the Landolorian wouldn't help him.
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| Who ordered the Maul sandwich? |
The final three took about two hours to play. I can't possibly describe all that happened, but it was pretty fascinating to watch as there was never a clear two-on-one pairing. It started with Maul damaged and Snoke and Lando fully healthy, but by the end they were all in rough shape. Grant got stuck fighting a two-front battle. He was trying to time his I Cannot Be Beaten card, which would have regenerated his Guards, but he missed it when Curtis played an unexpected Athletic Surge (his only one left after Ian permanently discarded the other). It had looked like Grant was close to his first victory after a long gap, but alas, this game is brutal and he rested in third.
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| Maul did work! |
Curtis used that same Athletic Surge to run and pin Kaleb's Lando in the corner of the board. Despite being high carded, he basically had nothing left (#rememberlobot). However, he did have one last attack. It looked like we might have had the league's first stalemate - if Curtis defended with Blinding Surge they both would have died and there would be no winner. However, Curtis still had his four defense, and he dispatched Kaleb in second place!!!
Curtis has won THE LAST THREE DUELS he's played in, which include three of the last four league Duels. THAT IS INSANE!!! He's on fire!!! Which is ironic, since he's the facilities guy (#alanismorissette). At nine career victories he's now second on the all-time list. The win also puts Darth Maul in second place for career wins by characters. Maul hadn't won since...the last Duel of the Fates!
Let's get that final order of finish:
12. Fiona/Qui-Gon Jinn
11. John B/Jango Fett
10. Duncan/Darth Vader
9. Ian/Kylo Ren
8. Jessica B./Emperor Palpatine
7. Riley/The Mandalorian
6. Rob/Luke Skywalker
5. Ryan/Yoda
4. Kevin/Obi-Wan Kenobi
3. Grant/Supreme Leader Snoke
2. Kaleb/Lando Calrissian
1. Curtis/Darth Maul
Next month is our final Duel of the school year - May the 4th Be With You! We usually play on the 4th, but this year that's during finals and closing, so we're going to see if we should move it to a different date that week. Stay tuned for more information.
We're also going to debut yet ANOTHER new board! Here's a hint...one thing's for sure, we're all going to be a lot thinner!
