Showing posts with label Jabba the Hutt Wins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jabba the Hutt Wins. Show all posts

Monday, September 7, 2026

The Fall Brawl - September 6, 2026

 
Geonosis Arena (via Hoth)

We love to see a huge turnout of students at a Duel, and the Fall Brawl delivered on that front.  8 of the 12 Duelers were students, and three of the four "adults" were in their early 20s...leaving one sad "unc" to navigate gen Z slang all by his lonesome.  One thing's for sure: that guy is buns.

From Brawler to Bawlers...

Things started quite spicy in this year's Fall Brawl when Jonah's Captain Phasma shot Riley's Lobot down the Geonosis alley before she and Lando could even flip to the dark side!  Similarly, Sam's Jabba the Hutt dispatched his lil' piggies to block Rob's Rey from doing the same.  With Lobot on just one point of health, Rob decided he would stick with the light side and used Jedi Healing to bring Lobot back to life!  That ensured it would be a true 6v6 match, and poor Junior suffered for it.  His Allegiant General Pryde lost his Sith Troopers and his life not long after that.  Junior was out in twelfth!

The dark side focused many of their attacks on the over-powered Rey, but Rob managed to use Rise of Skywalker to return to full health, ready to help his alliance continue to press the bad guys.  But Emmanuel/Aayla Secura had seen enough, and attacked Rey two different times!  Rob's fate was sealed when Sam played My Kind of Scum.  Jonah's Captain Phasma (Sam's not-so-secret crush) hit the kill shot and Unc Rob was done in eleventh.

We are laughing!

By this point most of the characters were in the middle of the board, and a light vs. dark alliance was still mostly in place despite Emmanuel betraying Rey.  That's when Kaizer's Supreme Leader Snoke pulled a dastardly maneuver.  He played his All Is Lost attack on Caden's Bo-Katan, who chose not to defend.  That caused Caden to dump the rest of his hand!!  A whacky night got even whackier and poor Caden had no cards to defend.  Jabba knocked him out in tenth.

After that, the momentum swung back to the light side.  James, who was a much appreciated last-minute sub, had been laying nice hits with Reva.  But he got caught under multiple attacks, including Emmanuel's wild Aayla Secura.  But Mason would use the splash damage of his Clone Commando Grenade Launcher to auto-damage James into ninth.  Ka-boom!!  

Riley always peeps the camera.

The light side was surging at this point.  Sam's Jabba retreated behind the snow mounds, locked into 1v1 battle with Riley's Lando Calrissian.  Karis' Jod Na Nawood had deftly sent shots across the board and rehealed by axing Brutus, but she soon found herself the next target.  Once again Emmanuel's Aayla delivered big - rolling a "5" for his Acrobatic Attack, making it a ten point swing of his light saber!  Karis was benched in eighth.

Her fellow Penland conspirator Poe/Yoyo was delivering nice shots against the dark side, but when mean ol' Jonah killed BB-8, the tide turned against Yoyo.  Some of the melee folks started attacking too, and Captain Phasma delivered the death knell when Yoyo only had one card left.  That's two seventh place finishes for Yoyo in two career Duels!

Supreme Leader Switzerland

With six Duelers to go, Jonah/Phasma and Sam/Jabba were desperate to get Riley/Lando to join them against the Tealthica power-duo of Kaizer/Snoke and Emmanuel/Aayla.  Mason's Clone Commandos were navigating the middle of that alliance switch.  In the end, it was once again Emmanuel dictating the next move, as he unloaded on Captain Phasma and blasted Jonah off the board in sixth place with the Rotary Cannon.

There was a LOT of jawing after that, as everyone was pleading with Kaizer to have him join their respective side.  But Kaizer treated Supreme Leader Snoke like Switzerland for most of the night.  When Emmanuel's Aayla was finally taking damage, Kaizer used a double-dose of Force Lightning to halve Tealthica in two.  What a night of chaos and carnage for Emmanuel, though!

Aayla wreaking havoc!

With four Duelers left Mason's last remaining Clone Commando was bruised and battered.  Jonah's Phasma had managed to New Recruit the first two.  Mason had a chance to Detonate Sam's Jabba, but let the Hutt pass.  That proved to be fatal, as Jabba attacked twice.  Mason survived those attacks, but Kaizer's Snoke layed two points on the final Clone and Mason was gone in fourth.  That's his personal best finish, though.  Well done, Mason!

The jig was finally up for Kaizer's Snoke as well.  Though he had plenty of cards in his hand, few of them were defensive.  He faced an agonizing moment with six points of health left.  Riley's Lando was attacking, and Kaizer had to decide whether or not to take one more hit before trying to use I Cannot Be Beaten - his guard resurrecting defense.  He chose not to defend...but Riley used her Battle of Tanaab to off Snoke in third!  Both Emmanuel and Kaizer have finished in the top five in their first two career Duels - wow!  Tealthica has replenished their ranks for sure.

Ten round, knockdown fight ahead...

And then there were two!!!  Sam's Jabba and Riley's Lando had largely avoided the chaos of the night and the two wily veterans were just about dead-evenly matched with their characters.  And this final two went a LONG TIME...deep into the night, shuffling through their decks MULTIPLE times.  This one was no joke - maybe the longest final two in league history because neither character could ever get the upper hand.  It was going to come down to one reshuffle being very lucky while the opponent was unlucky...and that's what happened!  Poor Riley got caught with nine Lobot cards in her hand while crack Hookah Pipe-loving Jabba had a beautiful run of cards.  Give Sam credit, he stayed aggressive the entire time and it paid off!  With just two points of health left, Salacious B. Crumb took a bite out of Lando to seal the victory for Sam!!!

This marked Sam's first career win - way to go Sam!  He previously held the record for most career Duels without a win, but that monkey is now officially off of his back.  Congrats!!!  And this is Jabba's second victory in a row - yikes!!!  The galactic gangster is a new force to be reckoned with.  Riley deserves kudos as well - she nearly won her second Duel in her last three games!

Final order of finish:

12.  Junior/AG Pryde
11.  Rob/Rey
10.  Caden/Bo-Katan
9.  James/Reva
8.  Karis/Jod
7.  Yoyo/Poe
6.  Jonah/Phasma
5.  Emmanuel/Aayla
4.  Mason/Commandos
3.  Kaizer/Snoke
2.  Riley E./Lando
1.  Sam S./Jabba

Your 2007 US Open Champion.

Congrats again to Sam!  That win was well deserved and a long time coming.  Our streak of no repeat winners in 2026 is still alive!!  We'll see if that continues at next month's FIGHT NIGHT!  Pencil in Saturday, Oct. 3rd, as the tentative date for that one.

Until then...PEW PEW!




Monday, August 31, 2026

Doubleheader #1 - August 29, 2026


Kamino Platform

It was a glorious Saturday afternoon.  The Yoda Soda was flowing, the tie-fighter ties were warm, and the hum of lit lightsabers filled the air.  IT WAS TIME FOR DOUBLEHEADER #1!!!

This should be a quick one.  *gulp*

Is there a reason a game on the Kamino Platform should take 5+ hours?  That's a fair question.  We don't have an answer, but it definitely did.  Curtis/Kit Fisto immediately flipped to the dark side, but Ian/Leia sweet talked James/Beckett to flip to the light side!  It was still 6 vs 6.  No progress!  It was a long stalemate until Eric/Snoke decided to Tied To A String Ian's Leia into a kill box!  Ian couldn't survive, and the longtime pro was in an uncharacteristic last place.

Around the three hour mark we were still eleven strong, but the dark side finally coordinated their attacks enough to isolate Mason's Armorer.  Sam's Sith Apprentice Anakin was no laughing matter, chopping the Mandalorian down in eleventh place.  You should get more than eleventh with that long at the table, unfair!!

Delirium sets in for Karis...

Jonah's Plo Koon was the defacto general leading the light side, but in a bitter backstab, James flipped once again!  And he did it in classic fashion, using Val's It's Been A Ride, Babe, to auto-kill the prequel Jedi into tenth!  Jonah was gob smacked for sure.

It had gotten so late into the afternoon/early evening that Karis had somewhere else to be, so she got more aggressive with her Poe.  She and Rob/Aurra Sing traded shots across the board at each other, but it would be Miles' Morgan Elsbeth, who was all hopped up on Nightsisters magics, that landed the final shot.  Not a bad Duel for Karis' first!

Seriously, let the Wookie win!

Junior had a frustrating game, and not just because he drew Han.  His Chewbacca tried to eliminate Rob's Bossk, only to have the entire Bowcaster shot blocked.  Han hung tough after that, but as the light side crumbled he could no longer defend himself.  Curtis' Kit Fisto used a Form One attack to seal the deal.  Junior was out in eighth.

With the original light side extinguished, the infighting commenced!  Eric's Supreme Leader Snoke was a menace throughout the match, but the group turned against the sequels villain and Aurra Sing put them down in seventh.

Shoot - they figured out we're working together!

The objectively scariest character left at that point was Sam's Sith Ani, though Miles' Morgan was super creepy with her zombie troopers in full effect.  But the table put the target on Sam.  Rob had been the feeder fish swimming under Sam's shark all game and couldn't bear to join in, but Riley's Jabba had no problem and knocked Sam out in sixth.

It looked like Rob's Aurra Sing might be next, but he threw it out there that Miles' Morgan looked unbeatable.  He proceeded to prove it by withstanding several attacks in a row.  But the rest of the Duelers slowly whittled her down.  Miles' own father bestowed the terminating shot with yet another Kit Fisto Form One.  Fifth place in your fifth career Duel ain't bad though, Miles!

Somebody get these beggars off the Kamino Platform!

With four to go we were down to two shooters (Rob/Aurra, James/Beckett) and two melees (Riley/Jabba, Curtis/Kit).  Curtis had prematurely started the attacks against Rob, so he pointed his sniper rifle at the green-dreaded alien in return.  Riley joined in too, and Jabba squished Fisto in fourth place.

James' Beckett was bouncing all over the board for the entire game, flipping sides more than once...basically, playing EXACTLY like his character!  It worked to great success, because despite Rob trying to align with Riley/Jabba, he couldn't survive James' Double Blasters.  The birthday boy was benched in third.

Did we even razz him for his Cowboys shirt?

You know what the worst possible thing is when a game has already taken too long?  The last two characters chasing each other around Slave One!!!  WHEEEE!!!!  And to make matters worse, Riley's Jabba can't move as quickly because Jabba occupies two spaces.  But in the end, after much chasing...Riley played one of the funniest titled attack cards in the league:  "HO HO HO, HA HA HA!"  It was no laughing matter - Riley won her fourth career Duel!!!  That ties her with Kat for the most wins by a woman in league history, woot woot!  This was also Jabba's first career win in just his second career Duel!  James deserves a tip of the cap too - what a great way to play Beckett!

Final order of finish:

12.  Ian/Leia
11.  Mason/Armorer
10.  Jonah/Plo Koon
9.  Karis/Poe
8.  Junior/Han
7.  Eric/Snoke
6.  Sam/Sith Ani
5.  Miles/Morgan
4.  Curtis/Kit
3.  Rob/Aurra
2.  James/Beckett
1.  Riley E./Jabba

First win as an ADULT, as a COLLEGE STUDENT...

Well done again, Riley...but there was still another game on the night, on to Doubleheader #2!!!