May the 4th Be With You - May 4, 2019

Hall of Fame Careers

 Emperor's Throne Room
(via the Mustafar 3D board)

The last Duel of the season is always bittersweet.  Not just because it means we're taking a break over the summer, no, there's a degree of sadness because we know we're saying goodbye to some of our regular Duelers who are graduating or moving onto bigger and better board games.  Just kidding.  There are no board games bigger or better than Epic Duels.

Those departing Duelers who have distinguished themselves above and beyond the common combatant earn a special place in the hallowed halls (or tabs) of the blog.  I am speaking, of course, of the 12-Way Duel Hall of Fame.  This year, before we played the May the 4th Be With You Duel, we inducted two (technically three) new members into the Hall of Fame.

Courtney and Ben H.

Nobody can deny the impact this married couple had on the league.  Courtney made history when she became the first female winner in the history of our nerdy rebellion by claiming the 2018 Fall Brawl.  It was an achievement long overdue and her strategic style of play was worthy of the honor.  Even better, she won before Ben did!  But don't sleep on Ben!  Nobody had a better 18-19 season than Ben, who took home three wins, none bigger than the 2018 Championship.

Joel

Few Duelers are as cold and calculating as Joel, whose ruthless style of play laid waste to most of those standing in his way.  In fact, he won more Duels as an undergraduate (five) than anyone else in league history.  At the time of his retirement, he was also the only Dueler to ever win twice with Darth Maul.  That's a fitting character for his style of play.  The league will breathe more easily with Joel missing from the table, and that's really the best compliment you can give a Dueler.

Happy birthday, Viktor!

JD grabbed the first chair and also happened to win the roll-off to go first.  It was a nice change of luck after his staggering last place finish the afternoon before.  Unfortunately, he picked his favorite character (Yoda) on that character's worst board (Emperor's Throne Room).  Prompted by Rob, though, he made an impassioned speech for the light side to stick together through the start of the game, which is typically their only chance against the dark side on that board.  Through the start of the game, that appeared to stick, and they even kinda got Ben, aka "The Thinker", to join their ranks with Count Dooku.

"KALEB!!!!"

Rob's Obi-Wan Kenobi, stuck on the front line, took some early hits, especially after Viktor's Zam Wessell got some nasty licks in.  The light side also took a major hit when Joel's Chewbacca got slaughtered, largely due to a double Choke from Ryan's Darth Vader.

And that's when things went down the toilet for the light side, because rather than use big Padme cards on Greedo or Boba, Kaleb and his Anakin flipped to the dark side with a friendly Wrath off a Storm Trooper.  Joel made it clear he was peacing out too.  The Thinker, after much deliberation, did the same and the light side was CRANKY, none more so than Rob.  Before Ben defected he Force Pushed Rob's Obi to the back row of the dark side.  At that point Rob put his tail completely between his legs and pledged fidelity to his new dark side overlords.  Miraculously, he didn't die, even though his own daughter was suggesting it.  When it got to his turn he knew the time was right to shake things up and give the light side a chance.  But mostly he just wanted to dish out 13 attack points on Kaleb.  Obi used the Force Control and completely rearranged the board to try and buy himself some time and sweet revenge on Kaleb and Joel.

JD is with you

Part of the reconfigured board was a chance for Ian's Luke to kill Joel's Han.  But before it got to Ian, Kaleb's Padme dealt a shocking 15 points of damage to the junior Skywalker and Ian was in last place.  That was quite unexpected.  What wasn't surprising was that Rob died next.  Despite pleading for his life Ryan used a three point attack from a Storm Trooper just to add insult to injury.  I don't know, it's like this game brings out the worst in us.  And by the worst I mean intoxicating ruthlessness. 

Before Rob died he tried to convince the rest of the board to go after Kaleb's Anakin.  Folks were resistant to that and seemed more interested in whittling down JD's  Yoda.  He sensed it too and kept reminding the dark side he was on their side now.  The statement didn't carry much weight but nobody was too excited to catch a Force Rebound either.  JD took advantage of the hesitation and put the spotlight on Grant's Boba Fett.  Out of nowhere Kaleb of all people agreed and smoked him with an Anger so that he might use his Calm after the fact.  It was a tough tenth place finish for Grant, who tumbled out of first place in the standings as a result.

The Thinker...thinking...

Chris, playing in his last Duel with Mace Windu, had kept his head down for a minute but Viktor's Jango didn't want the Jedi on the board any longer.  Chris fought valiantly but took a Zam Sniper Shot right between the eyes to bow out in a disappointing ninth place.

Viktor was feeling confident at that point, and kept shoring up his alliance with Riley's Emperor Palpatine.  Unfortunately for him, none of the remaining original dark side had any interest in keeping him around and slowly positioned around him.  He didn't last long and it was Riley of all people who eliminated him with a Force Lightning.  That wasn't the birthday present Viktor was hoping for.

JD's Yoda and Kaleb's Anakin got into a debate over which of the two of them should die next.  As it would so often in this game, it came down to a prolonged decision process by the Thinker to help guide the decision.  What really hurt JD was when Alex's Darth Maul rolled in and walloped Yoda with consecutive attacks.  JD couldn't sustain the multi-front attack and was soon disposed of in seventh place.

Kaleb tried to turn the focus next on Ryan's Darth Vader and that caused a whole new round of deliberations and contemplation and OH MY GOD JUST MAKE A MOVE ALREADY thoughts from the dead Duelers watching the inaction.  Anakin couldn't escape this time, though, and finally crashed in sixth after Ryan flattened him with a Throw Debris.

Riley and her fan club.

And then there were five!  Joel looked like a turtle hiding in his shell for most of the game (which was a smart move on his part) but his Han finally emerged and warned the board of the dangers of Riley's Emperor.  He saw that she was short-carded and suggested they gun for her.  But Alex/Maul, Ryan/Vader, and Ben/Dooku all seemed to think they were in cahoots with her and decided to bring their collective thunder on top of Joel's Han.  It was a one point attack from Ben's Super Battle Droid that left Joel fuming.

From there we had four remaining and all four were in decent health.  At first it looked like Ryan/Vader and Alex/Emperor would go after Ben's Dooku, but Riley stayed somewhat loyal to Ben and started helping him against Alex.  This forced Alex to spend some attacks on Riley too.  But she was holding Meditation for just that sort of an occasion and managed to escape relatively healthy.  Alex got stuck low-carded and Ben eliminated him in fourth.  Don't feel bad for Alex, though.  He's our new #1 ranked Dueler!

The sunburned champion

It looked like Ben/Dooku and Ryan/Vader were marching down to take out Riley.  She had yet to play her You Will Die but that was because she had yet to draw it.  Just as they arrived at her doorstep she found it!  Ryan assumed she would use it on Ben since Ben was healthier but his jaw dropped as she emptied his hand.  He retreated away from both of them and Ben had the pangs of guilt as he tried to pot shot Riley, who had stuck with him throughout the night.  He finally decided the right thing to do would be to chase down Vader.  He did just that and Ryan finished in third after a four point attack.

With two to go things were very interesting.  Riley and Ben each had a minor character still on the board, so neither were able to heal from minor character cards.  This gave Riley an advantage as she had Meditation cards and she had just reshuffled her draw pile.  But Ben scored a Gain Power at the right time and bore down on her as she had positioned herself a little too close for battle.  In her first action the turn before Ben was surely about to use a Taunt, Riley found the You Will Die again!  She used it for her second action and, just like that, Ben was cardless!  To pour salt in the wounds, as he drew two cards on his next turn, Riley played Let Go Of Your Hatred and he was again unprotected.  She managed a couple of Force Lightnings as well as she methodically hunted him across the board.  Though Ben's Super Battle Droid managed a couple of substantive hits, Riley finally started using her Royal Guard attacks.  After she caught Ben choosing not to defend on her first shot, she fired again and won the game!!!  At ten years and 364 days old, she becomes the youngest winner in league history and the second female champion.  She immediately broke out in a fit of adrenaline-fueled giggles and body shakes.

The final order of finish:

12,  Ian/Luke
11.  Rob/Obi
10.  Grant/Boba
9.  Chris/Mace
8.  Viktor/Jango
7.  JD/Yoda
6.  Kaleb/Anakin
5.  Joel/Han
4.  Alex C./Maul
3.  Ryan/Vader
2.  Ben H./Dooku
1.  Riley/Emperor

Ben H. was super gracious in second place.  In fact, the whole room was pulling for her first career win in just her seventh Duel.  And she did it, by God, she won.  And there was somebody even more excited than she was:

Thanks everybody for an outstanding season of Dueling.  Rob will look into hosting the Twin Sun Slam cookout and doubleheader again in June, stay tuned for that.  Also, don't forget...July brings the fifth annual SINGLES TOURNAMENT!  32 Duelers, 128 entries, and one winner.

Finally, to all of our Duelers leaving the league...thank you.  Without your love and play, this league wouldn't exist.  May the Force Be with You.  Always.